- Go out of your way, physically – geographically even – to be in her presence. Even if it’s just for a day or an hour. Get to her.
- Let her answer first – and talk as long as she wants – when you both simultaneously ask “how was your day?”
- Snuggle up close and take joy in the warmth, touch and smell of her skin and catenary curves. Notice (and adore) her scars and freckles (and errant hairs, we have a few).
- Send her a whimsical email about something that reminded you of her. Something lovely. People love to know they are being thought of and even more, they love to be associated with lovely things.
- Suspend your ego and put yourself in her shoes, in her situation and her mind. Imagine what she is going through and feel her feelings, not yours.
- Let yourself be loved, let her get to you, affect you, let her see she gets to you and affects you; intellectually, romantically, sexually. . .
- Give her something important to protect; a secret, a special keepsake, a glimpse of you being your very imperfect – but not lazy – self.
- Rub her shoulders, without being asked or prompted, just because you want to touch her and ease her tension. (Or something she equally loves but come on, who doesn’t love a shoulder massage?!)
- Notice something about her, something unique, something positive, and reflect it back. “You always shut your eyes when you laugh. I love “
- Take the middle seat if it makes her that much happier to be on the aisle. And be happy to do it, expecting nothing in return.
Loving someone else is the best feeling in the world. Much better than being loved.
(I think, I hope, any of these things would work equally well with a male partner.)