Your question in itself is guilt ridden. You’re not a bad person, but I won’t say you’re the best person either. You may have to reconsider the choices you have made in life and how much you must have hurt your former partners.
EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES
We’re humans and bound to make mistakes. But one must learn from their mistakes. If you keep on repeating the same thing over and over, it might be hard for you to forgive yourself at a later stage. You feel guilty on because you know you’ve broken the trust of your partners and taken their love for granted.
DO NOT FAIL TO APOLOGIZE
If you were in a relationship, rather than cheating, it would have been better to have left the person and move on. You’re not a bad person since you’re considering your mistake. The best thing for you to do now is own up to your mistakes. You could apologize to your former partners and let them know it was unintentional for you to break their heart.
LOOK AT THE DEEPER ASPECT
Looking at the other side of the picture, it is quite clear that you might be deeply infatuated to the person you cheated on your partners with. If it’s the same guy over and over again, it may be that he’s using you to fulfill his desires. You’re just a bait.
You’re quite inconsistent in your relationships. You might also consider quitting the whole idea of being in a relationship right now. Explore your self and then explore others. This will not only change your mind, but will also give you ample amount of time to think about your life decisions.
Losing all your boyfriends to cheating may mean that you’re sabotaging a potential suitor from your life. There may also be an underlying issue which maybe the reason why you’re so restless and inconsistent in all your relationships. You could try therapy to find out better, if there is any reason why you’re the way you are.
In the end, it’s never too late to mend a mistake. If you feel sorry for your behaviour, you’re already on step one of achieving forgiveness and starting afresh.